I've unfortunately had to welcome enough friends to the Dead Parents Club in the past year that I thought it was worth putting my favorite grief resources (aka griefsources, say that fast) into one place.
If you're using this list personally, please know that I'm very sorry that you've experienced loss. If you're sending this list to a friend, your intentions are in the right place, just remember that you don't always need to say something to your grieving friend.
- I’ve made some irl grief-y friends through The Dinner Party - They have a ton of free resources on their Instagram, email newsletter and website. I think your experience with the group depends on who’s at the table and who's organizing the table in your area, but I’ve found that most of the people who tend to go to these groups can relate. The majority of my table/group in Denver (I call it "grief group" to everyone else) has lost a parent, but a few have lost their siblings, grandparents and other important people. At the same time, I should acknowledge that we weren't set up to support those who experienced the loss of their significant other, but we were able to connect those folks to support each other. So, if you're looking for in-person support, this is a good option but YMMV.
- I coped (and still cope) with humor, and a few of my favorite accounts have been: @thedeaddadzclub, @refugeingrief, @varistygriefsquad and @cookingthroughgrief.
- I personally didn't find grief podcasts helpful, but I've been recommended the Anderson Cooper podcast, All There Is, and have heard good things about it. However, I did find these 2 episodes of This American Life to be relatable and comforting: 597: One Last Thing Before I Go, and 738: Good Grief!
In the weeks immediately after my Dad passed, I also found a lot of comfort in sewing. I had already picked up the hobby while caregiving, but making and doing something with my hands while letting my brain relax was freeing. I don't think every person who has experienced loss has to dive into sewing, but if you already practice or want to pick up a meditative craft or activity, I found it to be extremely helpful.
And this shortlist comes from my experience & my Dinner Party table - here's what to send to your grieving friend:
- My personal favorite: gift cards for takeout. Whether it's DoorDash, GrubHub, Uber Eats or a local service or restaurant, these were helpful for the days when I couldn't muster enough energy to boil a pot of water or stick something in the microwave. These were more helpful than snacks or food because my appetite was all over the place, and I wasn't guaranteed to be hungry during 'regular' meal times, and it had the added benefit of giving me the choice of ordering what I wanted.
- A Spoonful of Comfort package
